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Kathrin

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What time do I post?? [Jun. 18th, 2005|12:23 am]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |hungryhungry]
[Background Noise |The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno on NBC]

Hourly Distribution of mi_swissmiss's Journal Entries (FULL JOURNAL version)

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σ: 4.6617468890933
σ2: 21.731884057971
Least-Squares Pentic Regression:
-6.9459197526743E-005x5 + 0.0057877621733852x4 + -0.16171197924532x3 + 1.8615754645681x2 + -8.0829200422487x1 + 15.319805481875x0

When do you post?
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Stupid things people have said at work: [Jun. 15th, 2005|04:50 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |frustratedfrustrated]
[Background Noise |The wind outside]

1.) This woman who works as a float aide in the hospital has recently lost a lot of weight.

      a) She is approx. 5ft1in (I am 5ft 2in) and says she still needs to loose another 12 lbs before she reaches her goal weight.  When I asked her how much she weighed right now she said 125.  That means she would weigh 113 at her "ideal" weight she says that would make her BMI 22 ands that's what she wants.  This makes me feel aweful and makes me feel extremely fat.

     b) She also says that when people compliment her on how much weight she has lost she responds with "I still have 12lbs more to go!"  and their response to her is "You are anorexic."  This makes me extremely angry that people trivialize a lifethreatning disease into something almost humurous.  It makes me sick and makes me want to scream.

     c)This is what she said to me, and I quote: "When I look at you I don't see a skinny girl.  I see a slim figure." I don't want to be "slim" I want to be "skinny."

     d)She claims to eat only non-fat or low-fat foods.  I asked her if she eats grains (ie carbs) she said she does.  I asked if she is putting cheese on her sandwiches, she said, and again I quote: "No way, I don't eat cheese at all." That's not fair, why do I have to have cheese on my sandwiches!!

     e) I asked if she would eat a piece of cake at a party or something and she said: "No way, unless its like a minute sliffer of a piece.  And I have to make up for it later.  What the H-E-Double hocckey Sticks is that, "make up for it", make up for what??  I hate this thinking, it makes me believe that when I have substituted a piece of cake as my snack at work or something I was wrong in doing that.

     f)My responsed to her claim that others calling her "anorexic" was asking her whether or not she was scared of gaining weight.  And if she feared that if she would eat a cookie or something like that, that she would gain all of her weight back.  Her answers to these were "No." My feelings of this are the same as I stated in topic b) "This makes me extremely angry that people trivialize a lifethreatning disease into something almost humurous.  It makes me sick and makes me want to scream."

     g)She syays she will not eat anything after 6pm, because of fear it will not digest correctly or something.  What about me??  My false-beliefs about weight gain are taunting me when I remember how both times when I was at Rio h.s. snack was never served before 8 pm.  And last year at RLP I sometimes I ate me snack as late as 9:30 or 10pm. 

      h) She asked me what a serving of rice was and I answered one cup cooked.  Laura (a know-it-all nurse) butted in with: "No, rice is always 1/2 cup."  Instead of argueing I just gave in and said: "Yeah, i guess you are right, 1/2 cup = 1 grain and I always have to have 2 grains at meals so I always think of it as a cup."  According to my RR plan its 1 cup cooked rice to = 2 grains that I need.  According to the Nutritional Facts on the box of rice I have infront of me its : "Serving Size 1/2 cup(54g) Makes 1 Cup Prepared = 190 cals.  Who in the world only eats 1/2 cup of cooked rice with a meal??  I am just soo frustrated!  When I gave my answer above they just looked at me like well 1 Cup is okay for you but not for us, we only have to eat 1/2 Cup.

 

2.) Sherray, a nurse who has made numerous comments about me (like "what does it matter you are just going to throw it up anyway" said that I shouldn't be eating that bag of pretzels (they were me 2 grains for lunch), because of all of the salt.  That they would make me blow up and get all bloated.  What the H-E-Double hocckey Sticks is that?  It took a lot for me to buy that bag of pretzels with a total of 220 calories in the entire bag as my grains with my salad and tuna.  It was a challenge, yes I admit a very small challenge but still a step in my journey through recovery.  I never got pretzels before always stuck to eating 6 packs of crackers (12 saltine squares in all = 2 grains at RR). =(

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60 year battle with Anorexia ends at RR [Jun. 15th, 2005|01:13 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |rushedrushed]
[Background Noise |Days of our Lives on NBC]

Lifelong disorder: Woman battles anorexia for decadesCollapse )

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"You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson [Jun. 15th, 2005|06:16 am]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |awakeawake]
[Background Noise |NBC News]

Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me

So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me

And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me

(You found me)
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be?)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me
You found me
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I DON"T want to gain another Ounce, EVER!!! (Birth-control and weight gain post in ed_ucate [Jun. 8th, 2005|08:59 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |depresseddepressed]
[Background Noise |TV]

From: cheshire23
Date: June 8th, 2005 - 09:20 am
(Link)
Ortho Tri-Cyclen caused about a 15 pound weight gain. When I switched to Alesse, it went away. OTC had a number of other nasty side effects for me, as well. I think it is a your mileage may vary thing, though, since some people swear by the same pill that made me miserable.
[User Picture]
From: mi_swissmiss
Date: June 9th, 2005 - 07:51 am
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(Link)
I just started on Ortho-tri-cyclen, I think I have gained weight, i don't know, i feel like i have. I was on Alesse two years ago and didn't gain any weight and then got of the pill and started Alesse again and it messed up my cycle where I ended up getting my period twice a month. I don't know if I like this pill. I don't want to gain weigth right now, I am still trying to adjust to my "treatment" weight gain less than 9 months ago. YIKES =/
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What's for dinner?? & Me have allergies?? [Jun. 7th, 2005|06:50 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |draineddrained]

I have been contiplating what to have for dinner for the last 2 hours.  Well actually I ate my Fruit and Vegt.  All I have to decide now is what my Protein, Fat, and Grains will be . . .

I really need to decide so I can start getting ready to settle down and go to bed.  I plan on going to bed early since I have to work the next 5 days with the exception of Friday and today is the first day I have been up on my feet for more than an hour or so at a time since last Friday.

Why can't I decide if I want a Boca Burger or Cottage Cheese, or maybe I want a Turkey Sandwhich? 

This morning when I woke up something astonishing happened . . . I could breathe.  I have been on my death bed for the last 5 or so days or at least thats what it felt like.  My sinus' were unbearible, so I went to the doc yesterday who says that I may have allergies, since my lungs sounded mostly clear despite my severe congestion.  She gave me Clariten and I took it last night and this morning I could breathe.   

This amazes me, because for the last 24yrs I have never suffered from allergies. Oh well whatever.

 

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I can't take much more of this . . . [May. 29th, 2005|11:23 am]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |numbnumb]
[Background Noise |Compt buzzing]

Friday and Saturday went okay food wise that is, I was actually able to eat "real" food instead of just the liquid Boost/Ensure diet I was on before.  Today is a different story, I am at work and I packed my lunch and dinner (work 7am till 7:30 pm) and I am sitting here during my lunch break wishing I had brought a Boost Plus with me instead of the Frozen Meal I brought for lunch or my Turkey Sandwhich for dinner.  I can't get myself to eat either or right now . . . I feel soo numb.  I just want to go home and crawl up underneath my blanket with my kitty.  I hope the next 7 and a half hours fly by.

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Article found in "LocalLondon" May 20th, 2005 [May. 22nd, 2005|04:53 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |busybusy]
[Background Noise |Whatever is on the TV]

Anorexia caused by brain problems, not societyCollapse )

Original Link to LocalLondon Article Collapse )

X-Posted in ed_ucate  and ed_recovery 

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Article found in "The Digital Collegian" Tues, April 26, 2005 [May. 21st, 2005|10:58 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |tiredtired]
[Background Noise |11 O'Clock News on WDIV NBC Detroit]

I hate these websites, I really do . . . I feel so many different emotions when I think about "pro-ana" and rage, as my icon shows, is just one of them. 

Pro-Anorexia Websites concern health expertsCollapse )

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Random post . . . [May. 17th, 2005|11:58 pm]
Kathrin
[State of Mind |sleepysleepy]
[Background Noise |Last Call w/ Carson Daily on NBC]

Why is it that . . .Collapse )

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