1.) This woman who works as a float aide in the hospital has recently lost a lot of weight.
a) She is approx. 5ft1in (I am 5ft 2in) and says she still needs to loose another 12 lbs before she reaches her goal weight. When I asked her how much she weighed right now she said 125. That means she would weigh 113 at her "ideal" weight she says that would make her BMI 22 ands that's what she wants. This makes me feel aweful and makes me feel extremely fat.
b) She also says that when people compliment her on how much weight she has lost she responds with "I still have 12lbs more to go!" and their response to her is "You are anorexic." This makes me extremely angry that people trivialize a lifethreatning disease into something almost humurous. It makes me sick and makes me want to scream.
c)This is what she said to me, and I quote: "When I look at you I don't see a skinny girl. I see a slim figure." I don't want to be "slim" I want to be "skinny."
d)She claims to eat only non-fat or low-fat foods. I asked her if she eats grains (ie carbs) she said she does. I asked if she is putting cheese on her sandwiches, she said, and again I quote: "No way, I don't eat cheese at all." That's not fair, why do I have to have cheese on my sandwiches!!
e) I asked if she would eat a piece of cake at a party or something and she said: "No way, unless its like a minute sliffer of a piece. And I have to make up for it later. What the H-E-Double hocckey Sticks is that, "make up for it", make up for what?? I hate this thinking, it makes me believe that when I have substituted a piece of cake as my snack at work or something I was wrong in doing that.
f)My responsed to her claim that others calling her "anorexic" was asking her whether or not she was scared of gaining weight. And if she feared that if she would eat a cookie or something like that, that she would gain all of her weight back. Her answers to these were "No." My feelings of this are the same as I stated in topic b) "This makes me extremely angry that people trivialize a lifethreatning disease into something almost humurous. It makes me sick and makes me want to scream."
g)She syays she will not eat anything after 6pm, because of fear it will not digest correctly or something. What about me?? My false-beliefs about weight gain are taunting me when I remember how both times when I was at Rio h.s. snack was never served before 8 pm. And last year at RLP I sometimes I ate me snack as late as 9:30 or 10pm.
h) She asked me what a serving of rice was and I answered one cup cooked. Laura (a know-it-all nurse) butted in with: "No, rice is always 1/2 cup." Instead of argueing I just gave in and said: "Yeah, i guess you are right, 1/2 cup = 1 grain and I always have to have 2 grains at meals so I always think of it as a cup." According to my RR plan its 1 cup cooked rice to = 2 grains that I need. According to the Nutritional Facts on the box of rice I have infront of me its : "Serving Size 1/2 cup(54g) Makes 1 Cup Prepared = 190 cals. Who in the world only eats 1/2 cup of cooked rice with a meal?? I am just soo frustrated! When I gave my answer above they just looked at me like well 1 Cup is okay for you but not for us, we only have to eat 1/2 Cup.
2.) Sherray, a nurse who has made numerous comments about me (like "what does it matter you are just going to throw it up anyway" said that I shouldn't be eating that bag of pretzels (they were me 2 grains for lunch), because of all of the salt. That they would make me blow up and get all bloated. What the H-E-Double hocckey Sticks is that? It took a lot for me to buy that bag of pretzels with a total of 220 calories in the entire bag as my grains with my salad and tuna. It was a challenge, yes I admit a very small challenge but still a step in my journey through recovery. I never got pretzels before always stuck to eating 6 packs of crackers (12 saltine squares in all = 2 grains at RR). =(